Still
Innocent:
A
little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing
towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter,
haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
Headline:
A hole has been found in
the fence at the Sunnydale Nudist Resort, police are looking into it
Taglines:
Support your right to bare
arms. Wear short sleeves!
A naked man fears no pickpocket.
Bare butts are cool.
A nudist never has to hold
out his hand to see if it is raining.
A flying saucer results
when a nudist spills his coffee.
A Buddhist nudist practices
yoga bare.
BUFFER: A nude computer
user.
A harp is a nude piano.
Nudist Resort sign - Sorry,
Clothed for Winter.
Always swim nude.
Sharks hate to peel their food.
Nudists are people who wear
one-button suits.
Never cook bacon when you're
naked.
Senior Citizen Nude Beach
ahead. Watch for Golden Oldies.
Terminator bumper sticker:
TIME TRAVEL NAKED.
Nudist Resort - A place
where people air their differences.
Police Story:
Lady calls up police department:
Officer, there is a man exposing himself in the next building.
Dispatcher: OK, we'll be
right over, lady.
(Five minutes later at her
apartment.)
Officer: Which way, lady?
Lady: This way officer,
he's still shamelessly baring himself.
Officer: Where is he, lady?
I don't see no naked man.
Lady: Oh, you have to look
through this telescope.
True story:
A 48-year-old man was found
not guilty of indecent exposure by a Gastonia, N.C., judge in December,
2000. A woman said she had seen the man in his car in a parking lot,
but the man persuaded the judge that a bee had flown up his shorts and
that he had pulled down his pants to kill it. The man's wife took
the stand and testified that her husband definitely appeared to have been
stung.
Actual call to Fire Department:
Send someone over quickly!" the old woman screamed into the phone. "Two naked bikers are climbing up toward my bedroom window! "This is the Fire Department, lady," the voice replied. "I'll have to transfer you to the Police Department." "No, it's YOU I want!" she yelled. "They need a longer ladder!"
In the US:
Take off all your clothes
and walk down the street waving a machete and firing an Uzi, and terrified
citizens will phone the police and report: "There's a naked person outside!"
